"Where you from, man?" "Seattle."
"Seattle, huh. Hey, I hear the movie scene is
really happening up there."
"You did?" "Yeah."
"You sure you’re not thinking of the music scene?"
"No, man, isn’t Gus Van Sant
from up there someplace?"
"Wrong state. So you warm
buy this script or what?"
"I’m gonna pass. But I like
you, man…. and hey- keep me updated on that Seattle thing."
CUT TO:
INTERIOR. DENNY’s, SEATTLE-DAY
"It’s not corporate?
…Not an industrial? …A commercial? … What
the hell is it then?… Free? Oh, a PSA? … No? Well
I know it ain’t a feature cause you’re not from out of town."
Big time, big name, out of town,
bring your own keyes, I’ll take it, gotta make a living. Got our
own labs, supply houses, editing suites, sound studios. Step right
up! Blast into town rent a big black building, shoot and blast out. "Wait! I sunk your dailies, can I cut your movie? What? You
want to give me a jacket instead?… It’s what? It’s shiny? (Pause).
"Well, how shiny?"
 |
CUT TO: BLACK. A PHONE RINGS.
"No, man, I can’t do it. I’m
trying to run a business here, I’m burned out on freebies, totally
burnt. You know how much this equipment costs? I’ve pretty much
had it with you"… (Long Pause)… "So, what’s it about?"…
(Another Pause)… "That’s about the dumbest story I’ve ever
heard!… Why don’t you have the protagonist bring her back in the
second act… and you don’t have and
ending. You need an ending. OK,
OK, I’ll meet you for coffee, Goddamnit."
CLICK.
"Hello, lab here. No. We don’t
make deals. Labs are like lawyers- success or failure, we get paid."
CLICK.
"Credits? Whatever, I’m not
too worried about it. (Pause).
NO! There’s an ‘E’ on the end!
Not a ‘B’! An ‘E’!
CLICK.
"You want me to work for free?
NO. NO. NO! … (Pause) … Who’s shooting it? … This is not a
PSA, right? You promise? … That’s crazy, why don’t you have the
guy bring the girl back… no, in the second act, at the end…
it’ll give you an ending…"
CLICK.
"Well, I really would like
to invest something here, in Seattle. Your project
sounds interesting but I’m already
talking to some "names"…in the islands and the little
valley… they really want to do something up here… use all Seattle
people, too… just going to bring in the writer, director, producer,
editor, production designer, lead actors, DP and a couple of others,
the caterer maybe… everybody else… Seattle."
CLICK.
"Greatest crews around. Compete
with anyone you can bring up. Above the line? What line you talking
about, man?"
CLICK.
"You want to rent a camera?…
I’m sorry, that’s out of the question. No, it’s not a question of
money, we only rent to six certain people, that’s our policy…
unless of course you’re from out of town. You know, with jackets
and everything."
CLICK.
"Hello, lab here. Oh, it’s
you. Ten percent student discount? You’re joking, right? How old
are you, anyway?"
CLICK.
"You want me to shoot it?
You know I’ve always wanted to shoot something with more than eight
shots in it. No, they wont… I’m not one of the six… but I have
my own… yeah, an S.R.
CLICK.
"Creative and financial control?
I don’t know, I think we’re set up as a service economy. Our job
is to attract projects, not create them. Besides, what you’re talking
about sounds, I dunno… risky."
CLICK.
"Hello, lab… No!"
CUT TO: INTERIOR. DENNY’S- DAY
"OK, OK, I’ve thought about
it. I warnta help. Gimme a box rate for my stuff, I’ll work for
love… and sandwiches. But you gotta find an ending. OK?"
FADE TO BLACK.
Alec Carlin is a guerrilla filmmaker who, for some
reason, lives in Seattle. Like everybody else, he currently has
a feature in development. MM
Share:
