12 Times on Seinfeld George Costanza was the Worst (And Therefore the Best)

The strength of Seinfeld as a sitcom is in the “no hugging, no learning” ethos laid out by the show’s co-creators Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David. David, as is now canonical, served as the primary basis for George’s character.

Seinfeld is full of characters of questionable ethics, but George is arguably the worst. This, of course, makes him a favorite of many. Jason Alexander was also stellar as George, helping to take the character to another level. Sitcoms are full of awful people for the sake of humor, but George Costanza manages to be odious and also relatable.

Since we’re talking about a quintessential ‘90s show, it feels fitting to start with a storyline that would not occur these days. After all, an answering machine is involved. It’s also one of George’s more relatable moments of dubious behavior, as the early seasons of Seinfeld were a bit less cartoonish.

George goes out with a woman, who invites him up “for coffee,” and when he doesn’t pick up on her real desire, he starts to spiral into neuroticism. He tries to call the woman, Carol, to smooth things over, but gets her machine. Then he gets it again…and again. George freaks out and leaves an angry, vitriolic message, and then finds out Carol had been out of town.

Thus, George resolves to get into Carol’s apartment and switch out her answering machine tape so she never hears his messages. He does it, but the twist is that Carol already heard them and thought George was joking.

It’s not an idea Seinfeld originated, but more a reflection of a real-life behavior, unscrupulous as it is, that George would engage in. Sometimes, you relate to George Costanza, and while it represents the worst in yourself, you must accept this reality. George hears that women are often attracted to married men, and so he gets himself a wedding ring so he can pick up women.

This time, George’s dicey behavior backfires. He wears the ring to a party, where he meets a few women who are seemingly attracted to him. They also will not date a married man. When George gets desperate enough to pivot and say that he’s not married, he was just wearing the ring, that also blows up in his face.

George pulls one of his all-time great ploys in “The Revenge.” While it is not the thing he does that makes him the worst, it is definitely worth mentioning. George, in a huff, quits his job, but then immediately regrets it. What does he do then? He goes to work the next day and tries to pretend like he didn’t quit. This is based on something David had done at Saturday Night Live.

It worked for David, but not for George. Thus, the really skuzzy thing George decides to do happens. He goes to an office party at a bar and, with Elaine’s help, “slips him a Mickey.” That is to say, George drugs his former boss’ drink.

Look, when you drug somebody, for whatever reason, you’ve gone too far.

Honestly? We have no problem with George and Jerry pretending to neo-Nazis O’Brien and Murphy so they can take a limo from the airport. As Jerry notes, the real O’Brien is stuck in Chicago and can’t make use of it. This is a harmless bit of chicanery. It’s what happens next that is George as his worst (in a delightful way, of course).

A couple of people join George and Jerry in the limo. It turns out O’Brien is a leader in the white supremacist and neo-Nazi world. These two are devoted acolytes of O’Brien, and the woman of the two worships O’Brien to a degree that leads her to be deeply attracted to George, thinking he is O’Brien.

When George comments on this to Jerry, who notes she is a Nazi, he said, “kind of a cute Nazi.” That really says it all about George, and also his libido.

“The Junior Mint” is one of the very best Seinfeld episodes. A former boyfriend of Elaine’s who is an artist is in the hospital. During his operation, Jerry and Kramer accidentally drop a Junior Mint into his open chest cavity. After that, he’s not doing so well. George, seeing an opportunity, decides to buy some of his paintings.

See, George is hoping the paintings will be an investment that swiftly pays off, assuming that the artist will die and his work will increase in value. In fact, when George finds out he will be fine, he’s quite disappointed. This is a time when George deserves to be out some cash, given he was fully hoping for a man to die quite young.

A double whammy from our George! First, George (admittedly at Kramer’s behest) parks in a handicapped spot. Unfortunately, while this would usually not yield a problem, a woman in a wheelchair did suffer an accident trying to get from her parking spot to the mall. That’s bad enough.

However, things get worse. Kramer ends up falling for the woman, and wants to buy her a replacement wheelchair. George convinces him to buy a cheap, used wheelchair. Now, we will note Seinfeld hedges a bit by making her a real jerk in the end, but said wheelchair also does end up having fault brakes, leading to the woman careening down a hill.

This is perhaps the quintessential moment of George being his best because he’s being the worst. Even Costanza himself feels low after this one. George is dating a woman that has a kid. That’s probably a mistake by that woman, but she doesn’t know it yet. She finds out, with gusto, at a birthday party.

George sees smoke emanating from the kitchen. He intuits that where there is smoke, there is fire, and George does…the opposite of stepping up. Instead, he freaks out and pushes women and children out of the way to flee the fire. Turns out it was a small grease fire. Eric the clown put it out with his big shoe. Fun fact: Eric is played by a pre-fame Jon Favreau.

In the season premiere of the seventh season of Seinfeld, George gets engaged to Susan Ross. That becomes an overarching storyline for the season, and George gets plenty of chances to be pretty awful, and of course hilarious, as an engaged man. On one occasion, though, he goes too far.

Through a friend of Elaine’s, George finds out he is just the type of Marisa Tomei. Yes, the Oscar-winning actress. Intrigued, George surreptitiously goes on a date with Tomei, who plays herself. The two do hit it off, but George confesses he is engaged.

So, Tomei punches him. Later, believing George is having an affair, Susan punches him as well.

Infamously, the George-and-Susan storyline ends on perhaps the darkest note in the history of Seinfeld. Personally, we admire it, but it does pack a wallop. George, often spendthrift, gets bargain-basement envelopes for the couple’s wedding invitations. He also leaves Susan to stuff, and seal, them all. Through licking the envelopes, Susan succumbs to poisoning from the adhesive…which kills her.

Now, we will not blame George for Susan’s death. He was being cheap, but going with cheap envelopes doesn’t feel too lousy. However, when George gets the news that his fiancée is dead he…well, in the series finale the doctor returns to call it “restrained jubilation.”

It’s a complicated reaction, to be sure, but George definitely doesn’t seem too bothered.

Effectively out of spite, Susan’s parents put George in charge of a foundation dedicated to their late daughter. Never the most-proactive guy, George feels like he is being punished by the Rosses. Turns out, he is! The best storyline to come out of the foundation occurs in “The Van Buren Boys.”

George is put in charge of giving out a scholarship, and he first overlooks a bunch of high-achieving students to give the scholarship to Steven, a slacker and a liar like him. The actor who plays Steven even kind of looks like Jason Alexander. However, Steven then badmouths architects, and George has long admired architects and frequently pretends that is his job. This leads to George pulling Steven’s scholarship. Yes, just because he talked trash about architects.

The final season of Seinfeld began with George being awful, but at first he doesn’t seem like he is being too boorish. He is legitimately using a cane when the episode begins, which leads the company Play Now, who just hired him, to believe he is disabled. George is about to explain… until he is offered a private bathroom. The man is a famous bathroom aficionado.

Thus, George keeps on pretending to be disabled at work. When he accidentally injures his other leg, and thus has to switch cane hands, Play Now gets him a mobility scooter, believing he needs it. Again, George does not demure. He’s only caught when his boss sees him running down the street carrying his scooter.

Fittingly, we end with the Festivus episode, because in a way aren’t we airing our grievances with George (while also hailing him as an iconic character)? After getting a card saying a donation has been made in his name, George sees an opportunity. Looking to avoid getting his coworkers at Kruger Industrial Smoothing actually presents, he gets them donation cards for The Human Fund.

The trick is that there is no Human Fund. George made it up to avoid getting people gifts. He happily accepts theirs, but all he did was make fake donations to a fake charity. This spirals out of control when Kruger says he wants to make a company donation (for tax purposes) to The Human Fund. Even here, though, George does not demure. He plans to take the money… until Kruger finds out the truth. Even Christmas can’t stop George Costanza from being the worst, and therefore the best.

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