Getting Personal

For writer/director Allison Anders,
life has not always been like “the movies.” From an abusive upbringing
in rural Kentucky to her struggle to meet the demands of motherhood
while pursuing a degree in film at UCLA, Anders has worked tirelessly
to make a name for herself in the film industry. Today, she remains
one of America’s most prolific and recognized female moviemakers,
and she’s gained this reputation by giving the audience a piece of
herself with each film.

For her latest movie, Things
Behind the Sun, Anders is getting more personal than ever,
as she returns to the town–and the home–where she was raped
at the age of 12. As difficult as the subject matter may seem,
Anders considers the entire process a cathartic one. Here, she
talks about overcoming trauma, the freedom of digital video and
how women moviemakers can get noticed.

Jennifer Wood (MM): Talk a little bit about the autobiographical nature of this
film, and how it came to be. Was Things Behind the Sun something you’ve wanted to write for a long time, or did it occur
to you more recently that such a film could be part of the healing
process?

Allison Anders (AA): Kurt Voss and I started
writing it about five years ago. Pretty much once I got the idea,
we were writing a month later or something–laying out the story
and outlining it. We did a very detailed outline. Usually what
we do when we write together is split scenes up. But this time,
he actually took on the first half, based on everything that we
outlined together, and then I went back and did a version. [Then,
we] basically combined the versions.

MM: This is such
a personal story for you, but you share the credit with Kurt.
How was your collaboration different this time around, as far
as scenes and characters were concerned?

AA: It was funny because, the rape scenes
for example–well, they’re not really rape scenes, but they’re
the flashbacks where there are some very brutal kinds of attack.
For a while I would kind of pass over those when I’d be rewriting
or reading through the script, because I was still scared to deal
with them. So it took a while; it took a while to deal with all
the stuff. Eventually, it was like ‘alright, it’s time to go in
there and work on these now.’

MM: Were the attack scenes the last ones
written?

AA: Well, at that first stage, yeah. And
then, eventually, I added more scenes doing my draft before I
started shooting. Time had passed and there was more stuff-I just
knew more and was further along in my own sort of recovery, I
guess you’d call it.

MM: Would you consider this your most
personal film?

AA: Yeah, definitely!

MM: That being
said, was it the easiest or most difficult to write-or did it
fall somewhere in between?

AA: I don’t know. I think in some ways it
was really a lot easier than, say, Grace of My Heart, which
was infinitely more difficult.

MM: I read somewhere
that you said, in order to create this film, you had to get inside
the mindset of the perpetrators as well as the victims–and that
the more you did, the more you realized you’d rather be a victim
than a perpetrator. Why is that?

AA: I didn’t have to get inside the mind
of the perpetrators during the writing, it was really while I
was directing. Because in directing, especially with young actors,
you have to kind of tell them the ‘why am I doing this’ kind of
thing. They need the answers for what motivates the actions. So,
having to spend a little time inside the perpetrators’ heads,
I know it was a really, really bad place to be. It was a far worse
place. In my opinion, that would be the worst place to ever live. Knowing that you violated someone else, that you’re a rapist,
you’re a child molester, you’re a murderer–I don’t know how people
live with that in their heads.

MM: Unlike other
films with similar subject matter, you didn’t just look at the
film from the victim’s perspective, but everyone involved–the
perpetrator, the victim, an onlooker–and we see how each of them
has been affected by this experience in some way.

AA: What was really wonderful for me, in
terms of my own journey, was that I felt like I really had as
full an understanding as you could possibly ever have of rape.
I felt like I really understood it at the end of making
this movie.

MM: In the course
of making this film, was there anything you came to discover about
the story or where it took you–or about yourself–that you didn’t
expect? In order to create the film–as both writer and director–you
had to essentially relive the experience.

AA: People who didn’t
like my movies–particularly feminists who didn’t like my movies-criticized
that I was always looking for a man to complete me. Well, I wasn’t
always looking for a man to complete me, but I was definitely
always looking outside myself for completion–even within my work.
When people say that trauma is shattering or you get fragmented,
I really understood–only by becoming whole–was that I feel like
I didn’t have to look outside myself anymore for that kind of
completion because it was already done. So all my weird stuff
about getting addicted to people or becoming obsessed with someone
I couldn’t have and feeling abandoned by them when they didn’t
reciprocate–some crazy thing I had in my head–all that stuff
is gone. Almost to the point that I am so calm about this stuff–I’m
not obsessed with anyone at the moment (laughs)–I can’t imagine
getting back into that place and I spent my whole life like that,
so it’s been pretty interesting.

MM: Why the choice
of digital video for Things Behind the Sun? Many moviemakers
claim that it offers a sense of intimacy on the set.did this play
in as a factor?

AA: I didn’t want
to do it DV at first, but it was going to save me a third of my
budget, and with my budget that was a considerable amount of money.
I ended up falling madly in love with digital. It’s less equipment
in the room for the actors; it’s easier to pick up and grab stuff
that normally would be such a drill with the film camera; it was
just glorious, it was fantastic. And ultimately, since I was shooting
in Florida, which is extremely flat, I made use of the flatness
of the medium. For me, it worked in every way: creatively, practically,
financially, I loved it!

MM: Is it safe
to say that you will be working in digital again, then?

AA: It’s ironic,
my least personal things will be shot in film, and my more personal
stuff will probably be shot in digital. I am working on some films
with other filmmakers that we’re shooting on trains, which will
most likely be digital because it’s so much simpler.

MM: You were
offered theatrical release for Things Behind the Sun through
a few different distributors, but decided to air it on Showtime.
What has this experience been like for you?

AA: It had a short
theatrical run through Cowboy Releasing in New York. I absolutely
loved the experience with the distribution on this movie. It was
a very tough decision to make to go to cable instead of going
theatrical. I had a theatrical offer from some great people who
really loved the movie, but I tell you I had such a much better
experience. I loved that millions of people saw my movie! There’s
no downside, as far as I can tell.

MM: You’re one of the few female writer-directors
who has really made a name for herself in the film industry. What
advice would you give to other women looking to make movies?

AA: Women should definitely embrace digital,
and they should also embrace TV and cable as much as possible. Or
find some way new that they can reach audiences that maybe hasn’t
been tapped yet. It’s really hard to compete with the boys on the
screen at the moment. When it comes to TV, and reaching female audiences
through that medium, I think we’re in good shape. And girl filmmakers
should be as irreverent and kick-ass as possible.