It’s hard to know exactly when I started writing Lady Bird. I know I had a draft of it at the end of 2013, which was very long. It’s sitting on my computer, it’s 350 pages, it’s called Mothers and Daughters, and it’s extremely boring. I tend to write to hunches. I don’t know what the thing is going to be until it’s completed. I think part of that mystery keeps me interested in what it is. I knew I wanted to make something about Sacramento, I knew I wanted to make something about a mother and a daughter, and that was really all I knew. Soon, I had a draft that was a reasonable length–around 120 pages.
I’ve always wanted to direct, and because I didn’t go to film school, I spent a lot of time doing anything I could to be around film sets. I wrote, I acted, I produced, and I had this moment where I was like, “I don’t think you’re going to learn any more by not doing it, and I think now is the time. You either jump or you don’t.” I think when the fear of not having tried becomes greater than the fear of failure, that’s when you decide to do it.
I actually have no interest in directing myself. I’m amazed at the people who can do it. I am not the kind of actor who could accomplish that. I really think I would be bad at both things at once. Also, one of the greatest pleasures I have ever had is watching great actors make my words come alive. They’re just words on a page, and now they’re people living inside me. From a selfish standpoint, I wouldn’t want to rob myself of that experience.
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