As Josh Ralske writes in his forthcoming MovieMaker interview…

“I was never really a fan of Harmony Korine’s work. I saw Kids (directed by Larry Clark) and Gummo, and parts of Julien Donkey-Boy and Trash Humpers, and I felt as though a malevolent spirit informed his oeuvre. His work made me uncomfortable, but I also sensed he’d be just fine with that.” But Ralske goes on to say, “Spring Breakers forced me to reassess my view of Korine as an artist. The film is at once asinine and wholly mesmerizing. It’s crazy, and conceivably mean-spirited, but it’s also exquisitely assembled and gorgeous.”

Now that Spring Breakers has spilled Bud Lite on the moral fabric (and breasts) of college-aged women across the U.S. (the film went into wide release on Friday), we thought we’d look back at director Korine’s “Golden Rules,” published back in 2008. Thanks, Harmony, for your wisdom.

Not safe for work?

  1. Acid casualties make good moviemakers.
  2. If you have a missing hand it is good to use your stumped wrist as a tripod.
  3. Never let a leper serve you coffee during the shoot.
  4. If one of your actors is ugly then you should at least make sure they have all their teeth.
  5. Impotent producers are usually spunky. I like to work with producers who shoot blanks.
  6. If your entire crew is gay then your film will be gay flavored.
  7. Make sure the script is over 10 pages long.
  8. It’s good to hire at least two handicaps.
  9. Make sure the DP is a Communist.
  10. Don’t jerk off for the six weeks leading up to principal photography. It’s very good for your overall vision.
  11. Make sure the gaffer isn’t addicted to opiates.