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Mein Seattle Kampf
Guerrillas in the Midst
"Where you from, man?" "Seattle."
"Seattle, huh. Hey, I hear the movie scene is really happening up there."
"You did?" "Yeah." "You sure you're not thinking of the music scene?"
"No, man, isn't Gus Van Sant from up there someplace?"
"Wrong state. So you warm buy this script or what?"
"I'm gonna pass. But I like you, man.... and hey- keep me updated on that Seattle thing."
CUT TO:
INTERIOR. DENNY's, SEATTLE-DAY
"It's not corporate? ...Not an industrial? ...A commercial? ... What the hell is it then?... Free? Oh, a PSA? ... No? Well I know it ain't a feature cause you're not from out of town."
Big time, big name, out of town, bring your own keyes, I'll take it, gotta make a living. Got our own labs, supply houses, editing suites, sound studios. Step right up! Blast into town rent a big black building, shoot and blast out. "Wait! I sunk your dailies, can I cut your movie? What? You want to give me a jacket instead?... It's what? It's shiny? (Pause).
"Well, how shiny?"
 |
CUT TO: BLACK. A PHONE RINGS.
"No, man, I can't do it. I'm trying to run a business here, I'm burned out on freebies, totally burnt. You know how much this equipment costs? I've pretty much had it with you"... (Long Pause)... "So, what's it about?"... (Another Pause)... "That's about the dumbest story I've ever heard!... Why don't you have the protagonist bring her back in the second act... and you don't have and
ending. You need an ending. OK, OK, I'll meet you for coffee, Goddamnit."
CLICK.
"Hello, lab here. No. We don't make deals. Labs are like lawyers- success or failure, we get paid."
CLICK.
"Credits? Whatever, I'm not too worried about it. (Pause).
NO! There's an 'E' on the end! Not a 'B'! An 'E'!
CLICK.
"You want me to work for free? NO. NO. NO! ... (Pause) ... Who's shooting it? ... This is not a PSA, right? You promise? ... That's crazy, why don't you have the guy bring the girl back... no, in the second act, at the end... it'll give you an ending..."
CLICK.
"Well, I really would like to invest something here, in Seattle. Your project
sounds interesting but I'm already talking to some "names"...in the islands and the little valley... they really want to do something up here... use all Seattle people, too... just going to bring in the writer, director, producer, editor, production designer, lead actors, DP and a couple of others, the caterer maybe... everybody else... Seattle."
CLICK.
"Greatest crews around. Compete with anyone you can bring up. Above the line? What line you talking about, man?"
CLICK.
"You want to rent a camera?... I'm sorry, that's out of the question. No, it's not a question of money, we only rent to six certain people, that's our policy... unless of course you're from out of town. You know, with jackets and everything."
CLICK.
"Hello, lab here. Oh, it's you. Ten percent student discount? You're joking, right? How old are you, anyway?"
CLICK.
"You want me to shoot it? You know I've always wanted to shoot something with more than eight shots in it. No, they wont... I'm not one of the six... but I have my own... yeah, an S.R.
CLICK.
"Creative and financial control? I don't know, I think we're set up as a service economy. Our job is to attract projects, not create them. Besides, what you're talking about sounds, I dunno... risky."
CLICK.
"Hello, lab... No!"
CUT TO: INTERIOR. DENNY'S- DAY
"OK, OK, I've thought about it. I warnta help. Gimme a box rate for my stuff, I'll work for love... and sandwiches. But you gotta find an ending. OK?"
FADE TO BLACK.
Alec Carlin is a guerrilla filmmaker who, for some
reason, lives in Seattle. Like everybody else, he currently has
a feature in development. MM
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COMMENTS | POST A COMMENT 
- Comment by Seattle Insurance on 3/19/08 at 10:44 am
Is Seattle really that covered with movie makers? What makes them all flock here like it’s a little Hollywood?
This story was published in the May 1994 MovieMaker Magazine. The headline was:
Mein Seattle Kampf / Guerrillas in the Midst
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