Here are some movie misquotes...
1. The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Misquote: “Luke, I am your father.”
Actual quote: “No. I am your father.”
Your bête noire, spoken during Luke’s illusion-shattering confrontation with his nemesis, Darth Vader, is a perfect example. The pertinent part of the exchange goes like this:
Darth Vader: “If you only knew the power of the dark side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.”
Luke: “He told me enough! He told me you killed him.”
Darth Vader: “No. I am your father.”
Wow — great moment. But as beautifully as “No. I am your father,” plays in context, it’s not a one-liner without the specificity of Luke’s name. So people remember it as “Luke, I am your father.”
2. Dirty Harry (1971)
Misquote: “Do you feel lucky, punk?”
Actual quote: “Ah, I know what you’re thinking, punk. You’re thinking, ‘Did he fire six shots or only five?’ Well, to tell you the truth, I’ve forgotten myself in all this excitement. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya punk?”
Clint Eastwood sells the hell out of that speech, but the misquoter boils it down to five key words that never occur together.
3. Wall Street (1987)
Misquote: “Greed is good!”
Actual quote: “The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA.”
Gordon Gecko’s (Michael Douglas) go-go ‘80s mantra isn’t — it’s a full-blown speech.
4. Apocalypse Now (1979)
Misquote: “I love the smell of napalm in the morning… it smells like victory!”
Actual quote: “You smell that? Do you smell that? Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn’t find one of ‘em, not one stinkin’ dink body. The smell, you know, that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smells like… victory.”
Once again: Captain Kilgore’s (Robert Duvall) signature line is actually a speech.
Even shorter pieces of dialogue get pared down:
5. The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
Misquote: “Badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!”
Actual quote: “Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges. I don’t have to show you any stinkin’ badges!”
This is the scurvy Mexican bandits’ retort when savvy treasure hunter Fred C. Dobbs (Bogart) challenges their claim that they’re lawmen.
6. Casablanca (1942)
Misquote: “Play it again, Sam.”
Actual quote: “You played it ["As Time Goes By"] for her, you can play it for me. If she can stand it, I can. Play it!”
The world-weary line disillusioned Rick (Humphrey Bogart) lays on piano man Sam (Dooley Wilson) is among the most frequently misquoted — thanks Woody!
7. White Heat (1949)
Misquote: “Top of the world, Ma!”
Actual quote: “Made it, Ma. Top of the world!”
That’s sociopathic, mother-fixated gangster Cody Jarrett’s (James Cagney) parting shot from the top of the oil tank he’s about to blow to kingdom come — take that (S)mother.
That said, mental editing doesn’t account for all the common misquotes. Some are just careless.
8. The Graduate (1967)
Misquote: “Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?”
Actual quote: “Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?”
That’s callow college boy Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) to cougar Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft).
9. Casablanca (again)
Misquote: “I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship,” or “This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”
Actual quote: “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”
Rick to Captain Renault (Claude Rains) after everything has gone to hell.
10. All About Eve (1950)
Misquote: “Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy night.”
Actual quote: “Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.”
Fading star Margo Channing (Bette Davis) — role model for generations of drag queens — to her party guests.
11. Cool Hand Luke (1967)
Misquote: “What we have here is a failure to communicate.”
Actual quote: “What we’ve got here is… failure to communicate.”
It’s the pause that makes the sadistic chain-gang guard (Strother Martin) challenge to headstrong prisoner Luke (Paul Newman) so flawless, but tell that to the misquoter.
12. She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Misquote: “Why don’t you come up and see me sometime?”
Actual quote: “Why don’t you come up sometime… and see me.”
Given that saucy Mae West was the mistress of the devastating double entendre, this misquote is just inexcusable. And again, it’s the pause that takes it home.
13. 42nd Street (1933)
Misquote: “You’re going out there a youngster, but you’ve got to come back a star.”
Actual quote: “You’re going out a chorus girl, but you’re coming back a star!”
An oldie that’s still got juice — that’s Broadway director Julian Marsh (Warner Baxter) to chorine Peggy (Ruby Keeler).
14. Sunset Blvd. (1950)
Misquote: “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.”
Actual quote: “All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.”
Deranged former silent-movie goddess Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson) to all those beautiful people out there in the dark.
