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Football Hits and Misses—Hollywood Style
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Rudy (1993)
This is the true story of Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger, and undersized kid who works his way on to the Notre Dame football squad. Okay, so it’s not the most cerebral football movie on the panel, but so what? What it lacks in sophistication it more than makes up for in heart and spirit. Plus, it’s written by Angelo Pizzo and directed by David Anspaugh, two seasoned pros at crafting feelgood-infused sports movies (Hoosiers, The Game of Their Lives). Oh, and guys: The goosebumps on your arm and lump in the throat you’ll experience when watching the ending are just precursors to a much larger disorder known as… balling your damn eyes out.
The Program (1993)
The Program is one of those movies that college guys get a hold of and watch religiously for four years, then sever ties with permanently after they graduate. A story of camaraderie (and bad behavior) on and off the football field, it tackles steroids, domestic abuse, alcoholism, success-driven coaches and basic male machismo. It’s kind of like a non-humorous and less chipper Necessary Roughness, except it’s damn entertaining, if not completely irrelevant.
MISSES
Necessary Roughness (1991)
It’s not a coincidence that this was the last movie that Stan Dragoti (Love at First Bite, Mr. Mom) directed. This movie is very similar to The Replacements (see below) in that both movies are comedies, in theory, and they both stink. The basic plot of Necessary Roughnesscenters around the phenomenon of “iron man football,” which describes a team that uses the same players on both defense and offense… interesting. Once you have the basic plot, writing a football comedy is pretty easy: Create a bunch of wacky, oddball characters, put them on the field and allow them to overachieve and watch the hilarity ensue. Whatever you do, however, don’t dare develop the characters. There is no greater impediment to zaniness on a football field than character development.
Any Given Sunday (1999)
Some directors have trouble keeping a movie under two hours. Oliver Stone is one of them. At 150 minutes in length, this movie is easily an hour too long. No football movie should have a running time longer than an actual football game. This is the story of Willie Beamen (Jamie Foxx), a pro quarterback who rises from mediocrity to primetime, and his ability (or inability) to deal with instant success at the highest level of his profession. Tedious.
The Replacements (2000)
Needless to say, this is not one of the great films of the genre. However, it takes movies like this one to make the superior ones stand out in a crowd. After all, how would we know Mozart was any good if there was no Salieri? How would we know Coke was so tasty if there was no Shasta? This may be the worst argument ever put forth. This is a movie about, if you haven’t already guessed, replacement players, or scabs, brought on to finish out a strike season. Fertile field for folly and hijinks? Maybe, but not here.
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