May 25, 2012

My Life as a Blog: Why I Want a Golden Globe

by Reid Rosefelt | Published December 20, 2010

When people dream of the awards they’d like to receive, some of them think of the Oscar, the Emmy, the Tony, the Pulitzer, the SAG or AFI Award, the Golden Palm, the Sundance Jury Award, the Gotham, the Independent Spirit, the National Board of Review, the Booker Prize, the People’s Choice, or the Nobel. Not me.

I want a Golden Globe.

Here are the reasons why I believe that the Golden Globe is the most prestigious award in the world:

Each member of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association has a snapshot taken with all potential nominees:
How could anyone judge the worth of a potential candidate unless they pose cheek to jowl with them, grinning ear to ear?

The HFPA is the most independent-thinking entertainment awards group:
The other organizations in the prize-giving cabal bestow nominations to the same films, like The Social Network, The King’s Speech and Black Swan, raising legitimate concerns about secret covenants and backroom deals made in smoky rooms. The HFPA proves its autonomy is beyond doubt by nominating films like The Tourist and Burlesque.

Absence of Payola:
Many so-called award-giving bodies give cheesy handouts to their winners, like the MacArthur Foundation, which forks over half a million bucks, and the Nobel, which shells out a cool million. The members of the HFPA take the millions of dollars they earn through TV rights and properly give it to themselves.

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association is the foremost leader in the fight for world rights:
The HFPA is currently suing Dick Clark Productions, who has negotiated TV rights to the awards broadcast without their permission, a truly heinous act.

Cocktails are served at the ceremony:
Other organizations are fuddy-duddies frozen in the pre-Prohibition era, with old-fashioned thinking that has no bearing on contemporary tastes. Just try bringing a Bud Lite to the Nobel ceremony, even in a paper bag.

Finally, this is out of date, but still relevant to the illustrious stature of the Globes:

Every single member of the HFPA used to get a “gift” from all potential nominees:
Sadly, this practice ended a few years ago, but it will always remain the historical firmament for the thousands of past nominations and awards.

Recently, The Wrap uncovered an angry letter from ex-HFPA publicist Michael Russell which flung numerous accusations against HFPA President Phillip Berk, one of the most respected and best-loved members of the Hollywood community. Even more preposterously, Russell accused Berk and the HFPA of unspecified “unsavory business practices.” I have no idea what those so-called “unsavory practices” might be, and reject his complaints as the whining of a disgruntled former employee.

Nothing Russell or anyone could ever say will interfere with my dream of getting a Golden Globe, or even being invited to the ceremony. If I could only hold that mighty icon of artistic achievement in my hands for a few moments, I know I would not only die happily, I would live forever.

The thought of being on stage with Ricky Gervais, one of my favorite comedians and actors, makes me giddy. He is a genius at portraying clueless idiots with grandiose delusions of their importance.

Sadly, I must accept the fact that I am never going to get nominated for a Golden Globe. After all, very few people have the slightest idea who I am.

Maybe I should go on “Dancing with the Stars”.

Reid Rosefelt is a veteran film publicist based in New York City. He has promoted hundreds of films, for such diverse moviemakers as Jim Jarmusch, Pedro Almodóvar, Errol Morris, Ang Lee and Werner Herzog. His personal clients have included The Sundance Institute, IFC and HBO Films, as well as Harvey Keitel, Ally Sheedy and the late Adrienne Shelly. His production publicity credits include Desperately Seeking Susan, The Godfather: Part III and, most recently, Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire. His blog can be found at http://my-life-as-a-blog.com/.