Three in the morning is always a great time to think. No distractions. It's you and your thoughts... mano a mano.

Right now I am thinking about this movie and what will happen to it, and to those involved. I stare at the darkened ceiling and try to predict the outcome, a charming but futile exercise. We are in the editing stage right now, probably the best time to be philosophical. Probably the only time to be philosophical.

Editing is the process of sitting down and watching your own film, even though it doesn't feel like you actually did it. Was I really involved in this American Messiah production?

So we log tapes and start doing a video edit- just to see what we've got and also because we don't have the money- not yet- to do any serious editing on film. That's a $50,000 proposition. To us, that's a lot of money; to Bill Gates, probably the cost of the flower arrangements at his wedding. Fair is not life.

I'm still staring at the ceiling and it doesn't give me back any answers. Is there a realistic chance that we have a good film here? What are the odds that anybody will see it? Will Messiah really boost people's careers?

As we edit, I am thinking about marketing- getting the finished tape into distributors' hands. Selling. Selling. Selling. I'm good at that, but I don't relish having to put on the thick skin suit to withstand all the rejection.

Making an "indie" feature can be bloody difficult. (On the set of American Messiah)

Selling will actually be tougher than making the movie. Few realize this. The hard work is in marketing, because the task demands so much of our nerves. The physical aspects of making a movie are strenuous and severe; but the body can relax once it is over. With marketing, your brain never stops overworking. There is no time to relax. The next call might be the big sale.

And what kind of sale are we talking about? Let's talk hard numbers. A halfway decent movie can generate around $500,000 for video, foreign theatrical and TV rights. If you can make a movie for less than that, you stand to make some money. But the trick is to get this sale. Hundreds, if not thousands of films are floating around out there looking for buyers; many of these purchasers are ma and pa operations in L. A. who promise you the Titanic but give you the Minnow.

So marketing requires careful wordof- mouth build-up, or some kind of promotion that puts it above the rest of the floater films. In our case, we are selling it as a provocative satire on religion and Hollywood. This strategy is geared more to the art-house market, which has limited commercial potential, but which is our only real releasing venue. Ours is not an overtly commercial piece, so we are realistic about its box office potential. The ceiling tells me not to wont'. We've gotten this far; this isn't going to be the end.

But alas, I am broke. Art is a sustainer of life, but unless it also helps pay for the food and rent, it is just a smokescreen. We cannot live on smokescreens alone.

Maybe something will come through. Meanwhile, in our editing cave, we spend our days staring at the monitor for endless hours. Politicians might be losing face, Russia embroiled in another crisis- but in our safe little wombs, our worst headache is to choose between take one and take three.

Maybe in the next months column I'll have a better idea of what will happen with Messiah. For now it's editing and waking up at 3 a.m. to think about it all. MM